trektags

  #so there’s this kid.      #and he’s the best and he’s the brightest      #and he’s got a million-watt grin and does the best puppy-dog eyes this side of neptune      #he’s got great things coming to him      #this kid.      #and even though he’s got great things coming to him he sticks around with /you/ and bumps shoulders with you and claps you on the back      #and elbows you out of those moods you get in sometimes      #and this kid has been the only thing that’s made life worth living since your divorce.      #and you open that bag and that’s that familiar face and the eyes are closed but they should be open      #and he’s not moving and he’s not breathing and he’s full of radiation and this kid isn’t going anywhere great anymore.      #even though he deserved to.      #and you can’t even speak      #can’t even cry      #can’t even sign his certificate      #because this pit has opened up in your chest where your heart used to be      #and if you stop to think about the fact that he isn’t going to jump off that table      #and say ‘c’mon let’s go’ and call you by that stupid nickname      #you might break.      #so instead you just sit down so you don’t fall down and put your head in your hands and wish for a moment      #that everybody on board this ship were dead instead of this one kid.      #just a moment. you can allow yourself one moment of selfishness. even if he would hate you for it.      #he can’t hate you anymore anyway. (tags via gotnothinleft)